Zed’s Dead

I’m not gonna lie, I can’t wait to see this movie. Robert Downey, Jr. pretty much kicks ass in everything, but now he gets to to do it in a flying armored suit that can blow up tanks. Advantage: flying armored suit.

Here’s the trailer for Baby Mama, starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, about a:

Successful and single businesswoman Kate Holbrook has long put her career ahead of a personal life. Now 37, she’s finally determined to have a kid on her own. But her plan is thrown a curve ball after she discovers she has only a million-to-one chance of getting pregnant. Undaunted, the driven Kate allows South Philly working girl Angie Ostrowiski to become her unlikely surrogate. Simple enough … After learning from the steely head of their surrogacy center that Angie is pregnant, Kate goes into precision nesting mode: reading childcare books, baby-proofing the apartment and researching top pre-schools. But the executive’s well-organized strategy is turned upside down when her Baby Mama shows up at her doorstep with no place to live. An unstoppable force meets an immovable object as structured Kate tries to turn vibrant Angie into the perfect expectant mom. In a battle of wills, they will struggle their way through preparation for the baby’s arrival. And in the middle of this tug-of-war, they’ll discover two kinds of family: the one you’re born to and the one you make.

I’m sorry but I’m not falling for this feminist subversion tactic wrapped up in a cute chick flick bow. No ma’am. Although it would’ve probably helped if either Tina Fey or Amy Poehler were hot. In fact, it would’ve help a great deal. Also, if they could have replaced them with Jessica Biel and Megan Fox and possibly added a pillow fight, then the plight of the independent woman might have resonated with me a little more.

Ok, so here’s the first five minutes of Teeth. And if you don’t already know, the “teeth” in this case are in a vagina. Um, seriously:

High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant. Her task is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad’s increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.

Not to get ahead of myself here, but this means she has no problem with anal, right?


Source



UPDATE: Check out the full length trailer and an additional scene after the jump.


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George Romero has a new movie coming out and guess what? It’s about zombies! Oh yeah, I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

Paramount has released another image from the upcoming Jon Favreau film, Iron Man, featuring Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) testing some sort part of his suit. Maybe. It’s Hollywood, so you can never really tell. The good news is that this looks like some sort of weapon, the bad news is that there’s a strong possibility after using it, the script will call for him to say, “Talk to the hand.”

Today Movieweb, posted a picture of what they claimed to be a toy version of the Cloverfield monster. Almost immediately people began calling in a fake, with Harry Knowles from AICN pretty much agreeing.:

I got hit with some dire dreaded strain of some evil viral infection and have just come out of the haze of strange colored substances flung from me lungs… And I get to the computer to see… “CLOVERFIELD MONSTER ONLINE”…The alleged CLOVERFIELD monster comes from MovieWeb - That is not an early design - nor is it - the final design. It is, according to my sources (and my sources do kick ass) - “BUNK”

Who knows what’s real and what’s not, but I have to admit the monster (below) is a little disappointing. Just like I’m afraid the whole movie will be. Nothing can live up to this much hype. Nothing except my sex tape with Megan Fox. Oh, yeah baby. You like that.


(See the monster after the jump)


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Directed by first-time director, Nicholas Stoller, and produced by Judd Apatow, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is about Peter (Jason Segel), a guy desperate to get over his break up with his TV star girlfriend, Sarah (Kristen Bell). Peter finally decides to take a Hawaii vacation only to find Sarah staying at the same resort with her new boyfriend. Oh man, I just hate it when that happens!

Here’s the first trailer for the upcoming horror-comedy, My Name is Bruce, starring the one and only Bruce Campbell as himself. As your discerning eye will tell you, Bruce Campbell is enlisted by two teenagers to help in their battle against a Chinese War demon in a small Oregon town. The only question now is: Bruce Campbell, coolest actor in Hollywood? Ahoy, my friends. Ahoy.

MTV has posted a shot-by-shot analysis of the first trailer for The Dark Knight (see it here). Why? Who knows. But it answers questions that have haunted man since Sunday night. Questions like, “Why does The Joker look queer when firing the bazooka?” Mystery solved:

-0:57: The Joker fires a bazooka into the city. A brief moment, this is yet another deft character touch from Nolan and Ledger. Notice how clumsily the Joker handles the weapon. This is because the character, at heart, is something of a gentleman criminal. The most “personal” way to kill someone, after all, is by stabbing them. That doesn’t mean that he won’t use whatever’s most readily available and likely to cause the most damage.

That’s a good theory. Another good theory is that bazookas are really heavy, man. When I supplied bazookas to that Haitian child army that one time, we could barely lift them off the truck. I mean, we laugh about it now, but Haitian kids are weak little bastards.

I have no idea what Wall*E is about, but the poster tells me that “After 700 years of doing what he was built for - he’ll discover what he’s meant for.” And that reminded me of the time I kidnapped Sophia Bush outside a Starbucks. She thought she was an actress, but I think those handcuffs and ether told a different story didn’t they, sweetie?