Zed’s Dead

So, some guy went to Paramount’s advanced screening last night + plus the magic of the internet = spoiler. Before you proceed after the jump, please know that this spoiler reveals major plot points, a full description of the monster, and which characters die..

You can read minute detail of the spoiler HERE

SLUSHO AND TAGRUATO ARE NOT MENTIONED ONCE.
NO ONE EVEN SAYS THESE WORDS.

NO ONE DRINKS SLUSHO OR MENTIONS IT.

Although, people congratulate rob about his Vice President position, but they DO NOT say “Slusho vice president” or anything like that. They just know he’s got a job in Japan.

SLUSHO DOESN’T MAKE PEOPLE EXPLODE

The Tagruato logo on the tanker is only noticeable to people who know where to look (i.e. people on this forum will kinda see it).

Jamie’s in the movie for maybe 2-3 seconds (at Rob’s party), she’s passed out on the couch, so she doesn’t even say a single word.

Here’s something pretty odd:

The events DO NOT take place on January 18th
The going away party/monster attack take place from MAY 22nd to the morning of MAY 23rd (ENDS EXACTLY AT 6:42AM). The year is unknown.

Technically, the movie “begins” APRIL 27th at 6:42AM with Rob filming Beth the morning after they had sex in her father’s apartment (her dad was gone). Rob and Beth discuss going to coney island because Beth’s never been, idiotically, hud doesn’t swap tapes and films over this intimate day with the events of May 22-23, so scenes from April 27th intermittently cut in and out of the movie
The ironic thing is that the film starts with Rob filming the view of central park exactly at 6:42 AM and ends with Rob and Beth possibly, but most certainly, dying 6:42 AM in central park.

At first, I thought the dates were a typo (like, when you don’t properly set the date/time on a camera) but in Rob’s final speech, he acknowledges the date of May 23rd.

The monster isn’t green, it’s grey.
-It has 4 legs and 2 really small, crab-like legs on it’s torso (the crab legs might’ve been vestigial).
-It’s approx. 30-40 stories tall (Rob/Lil/Hud climb up Beth’s building (59th floor) where she is impaled on some metal thing, after saving her, they see the monster walking down the street, monster is significantly shorter than 50 stories).
-It’s front “arms” are “backwards” (as if you’re elbows protruded in front of you) The arms are pretty long.
-It has 3 LONG fingers on each hand (like, index finger middle finger and thumb.
-Has 2 back legs, walks upright, but it appears that the front “arms” are significantly longer than the back legs.
-Has a long tail.
-Human-like head.<code></code><code></code>
-Has these 2 red, puffing (possibly lungs) lobes on it’s head. It’s jaw looks like a bulldog (where it’s “fangs” are over it’s lips)

The hazmat people are NOT tagruato (well, no Tag logo other than the tanker is shown throughout the entire movie).

The little monsters look nearly identical to the black/yellow bugs from starship troopers, but they’re between knee and waist height.

Jason dies pretty quickly into the movie (the bridge scene). Then Marlena dies from the little monster (here’s something frustrating, while in the subway Lil/Rob/Hud/Marlena are ALL attacked by the little monsters but only Marlena is bitten. Seems like a writers flaw that only marlena was bitten)

The monster’s origins ARE NOT explained, although Hud makes some comedic minor speculations throughout the movie.
Hud actually provided some decent comedic relief throughout the movie as well.

It’s face is human/snake-like.
Slit nose, 2 slit-ish black eyes, 2 upper and 2 lower “fangs” protrude over it’s “lips” like a bulldog (haha).
Round, bald head. It actually looks like a combo of Voldemort and a Bulldog haha.

It’s got a somewhat short-looking torso, the tail makes it look way longer. The tail is definitely longer than the length of the torso, neck, and head.

The front arms are “backwards” where the elbows come out in front. Three REALLY slender and REALLY long fingers on each hand (like a “grey” alien) The arms appear MUCH thicker than it’s legs. At one point, it appears to walk like a gorilla using it’s front arms to propel itself, but it mostly appears to walk on it’s back legs (mostly when it’s being shot). It moves kinda fast, but not overly fast.

It’s surprisingly short (on it’s back legs, but with it’s arms outstretched it has the capability to be really, really tall) and not as wide as you might think. I think it’s no more than 35 stories tall (because Beth is trapped in her apartment impaled on a piece of metal, and the monster walks by/beside/underneath the building after Hud, Lil, and Rob get her out. Beth’s apartment is on like the 59th floor (?) The last numbered floor I remember seeing is 57 and they were still going up).

In the scene where it kills Hud, it appears to have red “lungs” on it’s head that puff in and out as if it’s breathing, creepy.

The legs are slender too, but the feet are THICK and stump like, bigger than one of the tanks it steps on.

Overall, the monster is a dark grey.